Healing from Disorganized Attachment

When I began actively working on my trauma, I stumbled across something that completely shifted my understanding of myself: attachment disorders. Learning about them was a game changer. For the first time, I had language for why I’d struggled in relationships my entire life.

I finally understood why I felt so sensitive, why my mood could swing dramatically, and why I was constantly walking an emotional tightrope. I experienced intense highs and lows without any obvious reason. I was reactive and defensive, pushing people away without knowing why—because I didn’t know how to identify or express what I was really feeling.

I avoided people and situations that triggered anxiety or shame. I people-pleased to avoid conflict. I made excuses, placed blame, and stayed stuck in a victim mindset because I lacked the self-awareness to do anything different. At the same time, I deeply craved connection—but was terrified of rejection, betrayal, or abandonment. So I dissociated, numbing myself just to survive.

Understanding Brought Relief—But Also Overwhelm

Learning about disorganized attachment helped everything make sense. But it also brought a wave of overwhelm—which makes sense in hindsight, because people with disorganized attachment often feel overwhelmed by emotion.

I had spent most of my life dissociating from my feelings. So learning how to name emotions, identify my needs, and ask for help was incredibly hard. Being vulnerable still feels uncomfortable at times, but I’ve learned it’s necessary for healing.

My Healing Tools & Baby Steps

I started with mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to become more aware of my inner world. That helped me begin challenging the thoughts and beliefs that kept me stuck.

I added:

·         Self-talk and affirmations

·         Mirror work

·         Grounding and breathing exercises

·         Journaling to track my triggers, feelings, and needs

All of these remind me that I am safe, worthy, and lovable—even when my inner critic tries to say otherwise.

Over time, I’ve developed more emotional awareness. I gently nudge myself to do the hard things: reach out when I feel alone, ask for support, or simply admit how I feel instead of shutting down.

The Fear Is Still There—But So Is the Growth

The fear of being judged, rejected, or left is still strong sometimes. But I’ve learned to move forward with the fear instead of letting it paralyze me. I remind myself: I’m doing the best I can. And that’s enough.

I’m committed to learning as much as I can about healing trauma and attachment wounds. The more I understand, the more compassion I can give to myself—and to others.

💬 A Gentle Reminder

We’re all walking our own path. Be kind. Show empathy—to yourself and to those around you. Everyone is carrying something. Everyone is healing from something.

We’re all just doing our best to find peace, connection, and a meaningful life.